Does anyone else remember that nonsense? That was such a pervasive schoolyard rumor in our youth: if you bought a Tootsie Roll Pop, and the Indian fellow on the wrapper had a star in sight of his bow, then somehow, you were supposed to have won a Nintendo GameBoy. According to Snopes.com (or any kid that actually had the balls to try and go redeem a fucking piece of garbage for a GameBoy) the legend is false, and the Tootsie Company itself has no idea how the cruel, empty promise of some geeky Golden Ticket got started.
We’re not quite sure how either, but the other day, this dude at the office brought in a bag of Tootsie Pops, and we were taken aback by the sight of a green wrapper in the sack. A bright, neon green with forest green text. Upon further inspection, this pop was revealed to be a Lemon Lime Tootsie Pop. Upset, we couldn’t believe that in all out years of consuming candy, we’d never seen a Lemon Lime Tootsie Pop. Thankfully, the flavor addition is reasonably new, and we’re not crazy. And here’s the rub: it kinda works. Let us explain.
Not to get all Chuck Klosterman about it, but that ubiquitous “I’ve never made it with out biting, ask Mr. Owl” Tootsie Pop commercial did something to us as a kid. We are currently incapable of biting through a Tootsie Pop at first pass for fear of falling into cliche. Before biting, which, let’s face it, is a necessity as licking all the way down to the chocolate center is a several hour commitment, one must reach the Tootsie interior organically. We prefer to lick a small spot on the underside of the pop’s sphere, slowing whittling down to the chocolate taffy within. Once that initial deflowering has taken place, we can then bite. This process is the only true way to gauge the deliciousness of the Tootsie Pop properly, as biting and chewing provides only a fantastic, euphoric rush of sugar so stimulating that during which a person wouldn’t be so hard pressed to admit their own cousin is rather attractive. Lemon Lime Tootsie Pops, against all logic, work quite well in this sense, their Sprite-like sweetness optimistically yielding to the unique Tootsie Chocolate within. Think of it as reverse Chocolate Orange, though infinitely more successful in that Tootsie is far more generous a chocolate companion than traditional milk or dark chocolate. It’s going to be a good Halloween, and we’re well aware of the odd subconscious coincidence between having tried these this week and our post just before this with a song featuring the line “and I’ll fill your hands with kisses and a Tootsie Roll.”